M's first Brush Fire painting

After two weeks of lockdown during our program, we are back on track at juvenile hall. Since the girls typically get shorter sentences, three of the painters who began this round of programming have been released. One of them, M., knew she’d be getting out and she confided in me that she was a little scared. She’s turning 18 and has timed out of the system.

I was surprised to hear she wasn’t thrilled to leave the place behind her. I assumed that the punitive nature of incarceration would make anyone happy to go. M. told me she’s been in the system her whole life, first as a baby in foster care, then in juvie on and off for her entire adolescence. She told me that a woman who only cares about gambling and drinking adopted her at some point, but she really didn’t make much of a mother. In fact, M. said that the only place in the world she feels cared for is in juvenile hall. Something about people setting limits and expectations makes her want to do better for herself.

So know she is being dropped into the world with no safety net, no skills, and talent for getting into trouble. She also has a talent for painting. It was hard to get her to leave one of her paintings behind, but she finally agreed to share her very first painting. Here’s what she had to say about it:

This painting is about my anger and not being able to act on it. The red is because it is the color of anger, the x’s because I couldn’t do anything to change my situation, and the tear drops because all I could do was cry – they are tears of anger.